Every moment of my days, every breath I breathe is consumed of what I don’t possess. I don’t desire fancy cars, a huge bank account, the perfect home, but then I guess I am no different from the next. I simple want what I do not have. I want love. I want to be cherished. People marry to be together, to have someone to come home to … where ever that home may be, it should be with the other. Nothing else should really matter. I want, to look across a crowded room, into his eyes, and feel a connection. When I look up and find his eyes on me, his gaze twisting around mine, tripping over me, landing on the placed I love to be touched most. What I have when I look across that crowded room is someone who glances at me briefly, then looks away as if I am someone who has just crossed past a corner in his life. I hold no true importance. Easily dismissible. Someone once asked me what I thought was worst, A) to live your life once know passion, but to have lost it, or B) to live your life. He agreed to maintain the house until I got there to dispose of it and take control of the rest of the estate. Now that I’d been found, he had to file estate tax reports. At least it wouldn’t affect my taxes for ‘96. I had time to figure out a strategy for this year after I found out what the damages were. I later learned that the inheritance wouldn’t affect my taxes for any year, since any estate tax was supposed to be paid from the estate, and the residue was not treated as income to me.I cut class in the afternoon and picked up Emily from preschool. She had a lot to say about counting. I listened to her count to twenty and then start over because she couldn’t remember what came after teenses. We went to the grocery store on Xerxes and then walked home in the freezing cold. I made her hot chocolate and gave her a cookie as we warmed up and I started dinner for my family.“What making, Mommy?”“Comfort food, baby,” I answered. “Meatloaf and baked potatoes. You like that.”“No icky.
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